Moments
by meliecom
Summary: "When he had heard her tell her parents she didn't get moments, he had wanted to prove her wrong. She deserved to be happy more than anything in the world. He just had to make himself understand that he couldn't be a part of her happiness." Set around 3x10 (The new Neverland) and 3x11 (Going home). Everyone is back home, but Killian doesn't quite feel like he belongs.
_**Hey there everyone! Here's a little (well at over 8k maybe it's not that little! ;) ) something that I wrote last week to help me wait until the next episode!**_

 _ **It takes place around 3x10, I really hope you enjoy it!**_

 _ **Also I have to thank the amazing Kaye (Dreaming of words) for beta reading this for me! She has been absolutely awesome! THANK YOU so much! :)**_

* * *

Hook was waiting by the side of the vault when they all got out of it and he grabbed Rumplestiltskin as soon as he saw him walk out. The Dark One had been the last one to get out, so it hadn't been too hard to do it without everyone noticing.

"What do you think you're doing, Captain?" the man asked in a dark tone pulling himself away, and Killian knew there was probably a hundred ways the guy could kill him if he decided to do so.

"We need to find Pan before he can do anything with that curse," Killian told the man in front of him and Rumple seemed to hesitate for a moment.

"And uhm, what in our… Great friendship makes you think I'd want to help you?" he replied, his tone full of sarcasm.

"Because it will affect you too, mate," Hook told him. "Plus, I'm sure Belle would really like it if you helped save the day. She's been so happy since you came back, thinking you're a bloody hero and all."

The pirate could see he had hit a sensitive spot. After all, he knew he only had to _talk_ about this lass to get Rumple to do anything. He understood it even better because he only had to think about Emma to be willing to do anything also.

"Well. If I decided to help you with this little quest of yours, how do I even know it'll work out?" Rumple asked, thinking about how they could manage to do it.

"I know Pan a lot better than you think, I've spent centuries trying to evade him. I know what he'll do," Killian told him, hoping with all he had that this gamble could work out.

"And he's my father, so maybe between us we both stand a chance," Rumple finally agreed, and Killian nodded in relief.

They only needed to think for a few seconds to guess that Pan would go to the Well to cast the curse, because it had the necessary magic in it to fuel the curse. Minds made, they silently walked to the part of the forest the Well was in.

Rumplestiltskin walked a few steps ahead of Killian, neither saying a word. They would never be friends, but they could be allies and allies didn't need to talk. They both knew what the plan was without saying a word: stop Pan at all costs.

Slowly, they approached the little clearing being as discreet as possible. Felix was standing right next to Pan, well, next to Henry. Next to Pan in Henry's body. This whole thing was bloody confusing, and Killian shook his head to clear his thoughts.

So quickly Killian barely had time to register what happened, Pan reached for Felix's heart plunging his hand inside his friend's chest. Rumplestiltskin quickly stepped forward and summoned the still beating heart Pan was holding, making it appear in his own hands.

"Well, would you look at that? My old son and his dear _friend_ ," Pan spit from Henry's lips, mockery dripping from the word "friend," as he looked over at Hook who was standing close to Rumple.

"Walk away, Felix," Rumple said to Felix's heart, watching the other man as he walked away into the forest. "Take this," Rumple then commanded Killian as he threw the heart to the pirate who grabbed it with his good hand.

The thought of crushing the heart flashed into Killian's mind. It would mean Pan could never finish the curse, but he couldn't do it. It just wasn't the right thing to do. Instead, Killian started walking away from Rumple, Henry's eyes never leaving the heart that was beating rapidly in the pirate's hand.

"Why don't you just crush it already?" the boy asked, raising an eyebrow in a way that was so Pan, for a moment Killian forgot it was Henry's body.

"Because I'm not like that, mate," Killian replied, looking down at the glowing heart.

"Of course you're like that. I've known you for a long time, Hook; I know exactly how you are. Just crush the thing already," Pan taunted the pirate, not realizing that Rumple was making his way around him ever so slowly so his father would realize he was moving.

"That's where you're wrong. You don't know me, but I know you. I know what you want to do, but I won't let you ruin things. Not again," Hook stated calmly.

"You and me, we're the same. We'll always be the bad guys in this story. Just give me the heart back, we can be the masters of this new Neverland. Together," Pan said taking a step towards Killian, his hand held out for the heart.

"You're so bloody wrong. We've never been the same, and we won't ever be," Killian spat, his eye catching Rumplestiltskin moving just behind Henry's body.

The next thing he knew, Rumple wrenched open Pandora's Box and with a single scream, Pan was pulled back inside.

"That went better than I expected," Rumple said as he looked at the little box, impressed that it had all gone so well.

"Aye. Better than what I had also," the pirate agreed, looking at Rumplestiltskin in amazement. Could it really be that easy? He walked closer to the other man and held out Felix's heart.

"I'll deal with this later," Rumple began, making the heart disappear to God knows where. "We still have to find a way to get Henry's body back to him," he continued, leaning down to grab the little box before he secured it in his pocket. It looked like such an innocent box from where Killian was standing right now, but he knew that it was so much more than that.

"Well, it should be easy now that we have him trapped, right?" Killian asked, not knowing enough about magic to guess how hard it would be.

"Let's find out," Rumple simply said, moving his arm through the air. Killian felt himself being swept up in the air, not able to breathe before they landed back on the street in front of the man's shop.

"Never do that again," the pirate hissed, steadying himself on the wall beside him as Gold spared him an annoyed look, calling out for Emma and the others who were standing on the other side of the street.

Killian stood back as they all walked towards them, listening as Gold explained what had happened. Since they had both the boys here, hopefully it would be easier to make the switch than they first had thought. The only thing they would have to do is make sure that Pan didn't get away.

Everything that happened next went very quickly as everyone entered the shop. Regina drew a circle and Gold put the box in the middle of it.

"When I open it, we have to be quick. This won't hold him for long. Henry stand inside the circle," the Dark One explained, eager to be done with all of this.

Gold then moved his hand over the box and took a step back, his eyes locked on it. As soon as the shadow started to come out from the box, he moved his hands around and Pan's body collapsed on the ground, energy making the air around them vibrate.

It was all over in a second and the box was back on the floor, empty. Pan was gone, Henry the only one still lying on the ground. Both Emma and Regina rushed to the boy's side, helping him sit up as he slowly opened his eyes. They only needed one glance at his face to know it was really him and Hook smiled as he saw the look of relief that washed over Emma's face.

"I need to put the box away," Gold said, reaching for it, but Regina grabbed it before he could even get close.

"I think it's better if we destroy it. We will never be safe if it's still here," she told the man and he nodded slightly in agreement.

"Okay, dearie. I leave you the pleasure of doing so," Gold replied, taking a step back and looking at Regina with a grin.

"Emma?" the Evil Queen asked, looking at the woman still sitting close to her, Henry tightly locked in her arms.

"What? I can't, I don't even know if I really can do magic," she told Regina, but the mayor took her hand anyway, helping her stand up and moving Henry back.

"Just think about Henry."

That was all Emma needed and as they both extended their hands over the box, Emma could feel the energy flowing through her, finding its way out of her body in the only way it could. Her magic combined with Regina's hit the small box hard and a second later there were only ashes left where it had once stood.

"There. Now it's really over," Regina said, pulling Henry to her side and hugging him.

* * *

When Hook walked back to his ship that night, his heart wasn't really in a celebratory mood. After everything was done, everyone had walked back to Granny's smiling and making small talk, just enjoying the fact that all had ended well. They went in the diner and didn't even realize that he hadn't followed them in. It wasn't his place anyway.

It wasn't his world.

They were all sitting at their usual table, having fun, doing the things heroes did at the end of a long day. As Killian stood there, he wondered why he had worked so hard to try and be a hero. No matter what he did, everyone still saw him as a villain. He might as well stay one, he'd never been anything else anyway.

It wasn't the first time he had felt like that in the past few days. He had felt exactly the same way when he disembarked from the ship once they came back from Neverland.

* * *

 _He makes sure that everyone is off the ship now, after all it's the Captain's job to make sure his crew is all accounted for. He still can't believe they've all made it back to Storybrooke, he feels so weird inside. He's never felt like this, and the feeling that he has done something really good warms his heart like nothing else ever has._

 _The last lost boy makes it off the ship and then he finally walks towards the crowd. Everyone is standing there, hugging each other, smiling at each other, so happy to be home. He can feel all the happiness in the air, warming every part of him, and he smiles too._

 _Making his way to the docks, he looks for Emma. She's standing near her parents, Henry, and her friends, smiling just like the rest of them. He wants to go to her, but everyone is too busy talking to her to let him walk there so he just stands in the back of the crowd._

 _It's almost like he's invisible, he thinks, almost like no one can see him or even cares about him. His throat squeezes for an instant as he tries to catch Emma's eyes but she's too busy. When it finally calms down a little he's able to walk to David and Snow, just in time to hear the man say how he's feeling good and that the water must be working._

" _Aye, it is. Dreamshade overtook my brother the moment we left Neverland," Killian agrees, and watches Snow smile to her husband, telling Charming that Gold will find a cure._

 _Killian's pushed back again as someone wants to congratulate the couple and he takes a few steps back, watching Emma from afar as she says that she thought they wouldn't make it out alive. His heart breaks a little at the thought of Emma almost losing both her parents and Henry in Neverland. He knows how much it would've hurt her._

 _Snow is the next one to talk and Hook can see her looking at Regina while she does._

" _And we owe a lot of it to her. Regina helped save us all," the woman tells everyone, knowing how hard it must be for Regina to be standing there alone._

 _Killian understands how hard it is because he's exactly in the same situation right now. Everyone is so happy to be together, but no one sees him. It's like he's back to just being the bad guy again. Hell, it seems like even the bloody Evil Queen can redeem herself, but of course there's no hope for Captain Hook._

 _It's his ship that got them all to Neverland and back, his knowledge of Neverland that saved David and allowed them all to survive on the island. Without him they wouldn't have been able to do anything and yet no one seems to even know he exists._

 _Suddenly, it becomes too much for him. He's not home, he's never really been at home except maybe on his Jolly Roger. He spares Emma one last look and walks back to his cabin, not noticing that the woman's eyes follow him all the way inside…_

* * *

Hook shook his head as a loud laugh gets him out of his memories and he looked at the diner where Neal must've said something really funny because the entire group was laughing. Emma's eyes were sparkling and Killian couldn't help but smile. Those eyes were the reasons why he did it all, he tried to convince himself as he walked back to his ship.

His cabin was dark and silent compared to the noisy diner he had just left, but it was okay. He was used to it after all these years alone. Turning on a small lantern, he poured himself some rum before sitting in the corner chair, swirling the alcohol around in his glass.

The solitude wasn't as wanted tonight as it usually was. He just wished Emma was here with him. He could still see the look in her eyes when she asked him if he and Tink were together and he let out a small laugh. She really doesn't understand… Even if he had been with Tink at that moment, it's not like it would've meant anything. Emma was the only one he wanted and the fairy had known that from the moment he said a word to her.

He almost wished she didn't know because maybe that would help him right now; maybe forgetting everything with alcohol and a woman was exactly what he needed, but he knew deep down that it wouldn't really help him forget. He was way too smitten for it to be that simple.

No one else would ever ease the need he had for Emma; he had never wanted another woman this much, not in his 300 hundred years of living. He had longed for her since the first time they met, and yet he told Neal that he wasn't going to pursue her, that she should have a shot at being a family with him and Henry. He still didn't really understand why he did that. Even if he told Baelfire that he was going to wait for until the end of time, he knew that it wouldn't change anything anyway.

He was such a fool for loving Emma that much; he knew it was never going to happen between the two of them. She didn't even see how badly he had fallen for her. Of course she didn't, he would never be worth her love. A pirate and a princess? No one had ever heard of such a crazy story.

It would never happen.

And yet he couldn't help wanting to help her, he couldn't help wanting to do anything and everything for her. She was the reason why he wanted to defeat Pan so badly; he wanted her to have her life back. The conversation he had overheard between her and her parents made his heart ache so badly. She deserved everything, not only moments, she deserved a whole life of happiness. Being the savior didn't mean she didn't get to have days off, it meant that she deserved those days more than anyone else in the world, and that they should be the most perfect days anyone could dream of.

When he had heard her tell her parents she didn't get moments, he had wanted to prove her wrong. He would've done anything for her to believe that she could be happy. She deserved to be happy more than anything in the world. He just had to make himself understand that he couldn't be a part of her happiness.

The thought made him get up again and pour himself another drink, a larger one this time, before taking the bottle back with him in the chair. After all who cared if he got drunk? No one was here anyway, no one would come looking for him, they were all too busy going on about their lives to even remember he existed, he thought angrily as he drank half of his glass at once.

* * *

Nearly an hour later, he had already gone through half of the bottle of rum when he heard someone knock on the door of his cabin. Setting his glass down on the table, he got up to go open the door, not completely drunk but definitely not sober either, as he walked unsteadily across the room.

When he opened the door, the sight of her hit him as hard as a cannonball from Blackbeard's ship had and he had to do a double take. Emma was standing in the doorway, her golden hair sparkling in the moonlight, a smile on her lips, and her eyes radiating with happiness. He instantly knew that he would never forget the sight of her like that even if he lived three hundred years more.

It almost hurt to see her there, to know that she would never be his, and he took a step back crossing his arms.

"Why aren't you at Granny's with everyone else?" he asked her, his tone a little too cold for everything he was feeling right now. He couldn't help it though, he had to keep a safe distance from her.

"I wanted to see you, Hook," Emma started, and he wished she would call him by his given name and not by the nickname that only reminded him of his darkest days. "I needed to see you," she corrected, distracting him from his thoughts.

"And why's that?" he asked, turning around and going back to get the glass of rum he had left on the table.

"I realized I never thanked you for everything that you did for us since we left for Neverland. You were a real hero back there, and again today," she said, and she sounded so sincere he almost wanted to believe her. Instead he just let out a low sarcastic laugh, taking another sip of his drink.

He didn't really know if he wanted to listen to her thanking him, not sure he could take it after all that had happened since they came back.

"That's not true," he started slowly, an edge in his voice. "I'll never be part of your shiny little world, love," he continued, his eyes looking down on the hook attached where his left hand used to be, the symbol of his life as a pirate.

"Well maybe I'm not a part of that world either," she told Killian as she took a few steps towards him, grabbing the bottle to drink directly from it. "Maybe sometimes I just can't handle this crazy hope my parents always seem to have no matter what awful situation we're in."

He didn't say anything, just looked at her as she half sat on the table behind her the bottle of rum still in her hands.

"I've been abandoned all my life. I know my parents were doing the right thing, but they still did it. They will never be able to understand what's it like to feel like you're worthless, to have everyone in your life leave you for one reason or another," Emma confessed.

Killian just nodded slowly as he went back to sit in his chair, his half empty glass still in his hand. He knew exactly what she was talking about. She wasn't the only one to have been abandoned, and he knew that it wasn't easy to go on with life afterwards. He lifted his eyes to look at her after a few minutes and he could see in her eyes that she knew what he was thinking about.

They both knew… Maybe she was right and they really were a lot alike, just like she told him before that crazy trip to Neverland even happened.

"They're here now. What about Henry? What about Neal?" he asked, wondering what she was doing here when everything and everyone she had ever wanted were at the diner.

"Henry's with everyone, he's with Neal, they're both fine. I just needed to see you," she repeated softly, and when she looked at him her eyes were so full of something that he just couldn't quite decipher.

"You should go back to them, to your family. That's why I told Neal I was backing off; I won't stand in his way," Killian said, his voice still colder than the one he usually used with her. "You deserve better, you deserve a family."

"I don't understand… Why would you say that to him?" she asked, her voice only a little louder than a whisper.

He looked down for a second and something fell into place in her mind, as if what Killian said had triggered something inside of her. She didn't want Neal. Yes, she would always love him because he had been her first love, and he still was the father of her child, but she didn't want him. He wasn't the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

"I do want a family, but my family can be just Henry and me. I don't have to be with Neal to have a family," Emma told him, and Killian could see in her eyes that something had changed. Wondering what he said to make her react that way, he turned his head to look out the window.

"Henry needs a father and you need a man in your life," Killian said, stubbornly not looking at her while he spoke the words.

"Me not being with Neal doesn't mean that Henry doesn't have a father," Emma replied, taking a breath before she continued. "And you could be part of our family."

This last part just made him laugh out loud, but it wasn't the laugh she loved to hear. This one sounded like some kind of evil laugh, deep and dark, and Killian looked at her with hurt and anger in his eyes. She simply looked back at him, wondering what was funny in what she just said.

"I'm not worthy of being part of a family, Swan. See how it turned out when I had one? My mother died, my father abandoned me in the middle of the night; let's face it I was never a family man," he said bitterly, finishing his drink in one long gulp.

Emma's heart almost broke in her chest as she heard him say those words. She knew he believed them, but what hurt her the most is that not so long ago she believed the same about herself. She remembered blowing the candle on her 28th birthday cupcake, wishing to have just a small shot at having a family but not really believing it could ever come true. After all, the life she was living right now was the stuff of fairytales.

"That's not true. There was your brother and then your crew. I know some of these men meant a lot to you, and you to them. Sometimes family is more than just blood you know, sometimes you get to pick your family," she explained, her voice calm and soothing, trying to make him see how wrong he was to think like that.

"Well my brother died and my crew is scattered all across the realms now, so that turned out bloody well don't you think?" he all but threw his reply at her face and couldn't help but feel a little bad when he saw her cringe. "Why are you here, anyway?" he added, a little softer.

"I told you, I needed to see you," she simply stated again, a little hurt by the way he was acting right now. She wasn't used to him acting this way with her, but then again she wasn't used to seeing him half drunk.

"Just go. I get it, you know, I understand that you don't want anything to do with me. You don't have to show up here and twist the knife more," he sighed, getting up from his chair, unable to sit still anymore.

"That's not true," she breathed, not quite looking at him as he walked to the other side of the room, resting his back against the wall.

"What do you want then, love? To torture me some more?" he asked, his voice softer than it had been before, the hurt poking its nose out under the wall he had built around his heart.

"I want a moment, I need a moment; I just need to forget how hard life can be," she told him, her voice trembling. "I need you," she said again, and his breath caught in his throat as he looked at her. "I pushed you away, but it's not because I wanted you gone. I'm just scared… And I'm scared I'll never get to sit back and enjoy myself even for just a moment."

He could hear in her voice how hard it was for her to tell him all of this but he didn't know what to make of it. He had been wanting to give her just that earlier; wanting to give her the chance to enjoy the small moments life threw at her, and now she was here on his ship asking him to make her forget.

"We can enjoy tonight. Even if it's just tonight, we can have a moment to ourselves," she almost begged, and she wasn't even done with her last word before he was already walking across the room.

A second later he was kissing her. Not the soft and tender kiss he had imagined giving her since Neverland, no, it was much rougher than that. Heat took over both of them making their heads spin. She moaned against his mouth and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her closer to him. His teeth pulled at her lower lip as he slipped his hand lower.

She got the message and jumped in the air as he pulled her even closer, wrapping her legs around his waist still kissing him senseless. Taking a few steps forward, he pressed her into the wall of the cabin, unable to control himself as his hips grinded against hers looking for the friction he had been craving for so long.

She met him halfway, framing his face with her hands, her touch so tender despite all the heat between them. Unable to handle her gentleness, he took her hands away from his face and pinned them up above her head, keeping them there with his hand as he lowered his lips to her neck, biting softly on her pulse point.

The sound of her whimper made his hips meet hers again with desperate need, her body hitting the wall behind her with a low thud. His hook slipped a bit from where it had been behind her back, and he heard her moan again, but this time not with pleasure. The sound of her pain stopped him dead in his tracks and he released her hands, taking a step back as he got her to stand on her feet again.

It's not like he never thought about making love to her because he had thought about it so many times. The thing was, no matter how many times he pictured it in his head, this had never been how he wanted to do it. She deserved more than a quick fuck against the wall, more than just a pirate having her for the night to make her forget how life hurt.

She deserved so much more than that and he wanted to make her feel everything. He wanted to make love to her in a way that wouldn't just make her forget but that would give her hope that life could be better. Sadly though, the way he wanted to be with her could never happen.

Emma took a step back, leaning against the wall to regain her balance as she tried to catch her breath. She knew their kiss in Neverland had just been a small taste of the fire that really burned in their veins, but she'd never thought it would actually be that intense when she got to feel his body against hers.

"Go. Just leave," he grumbled, rubbing his face with his hand, his hook low by his side.

"Hook, please. I..." she said, lost for words after what just happened between them and she saw him flinch at the use of his nickname.

It suddenly hit her, how stupid she had been, and she took a few steps towards him stopping just short of touching him.

"You need to leave," he said again, his voice firmer this time, but all she could hear was the hurt behind the wall he was still trying to keep up between them.

Emma was kind of a pro in walls though. All her life she had been the one putting up walls so high that she had forgotten how it looked on the other side of them.

"I don't want to," she told him, her hands itching to hold his face, to make him look at her, to make him understand.

"I can't give you what you deserve, I'm just a bloody pirate," he said under his breath, not trusting his voice when she looked at him like that.

"You're so much more than that… You deserve so much more than what you think you do. If it hadn't been for you, I'd never have gotten Henry back. If it hadn't been for you, my father would have died in Neverland. Never think that you're anything less than a hero in my book, Killian," Emma said, and he could see in her eyes that she had never been more serious about anything in the whole time he'd known her.

Opening his mouth he tried to reply, but before he could even think about what he would say, her lips were on his again.

This kiss was somehow totally different from the ones they had shared earlier. She was kissing him slowly, tenderly, and he could feel his heart pounding in his chest even harder than before. Her hands came up to frame his face again and his right arm went around her back, holding her to him carefully.

Her tongue traced his upper lip and he couldn't help but sigh against her, his legs shaking under him as she continued to kiss him, pouring everything she felt into this kiss.

Not thinking he could stand up straight much longer, he slowly walked back to his bed, sitting on it and pulling her to him as he turned to lay her head on the pillow. Her body was pressed against his and the heat radiating from where they touched made his head spin as he kissed her again and again and again.

When he finally backed away to get some air, her eyes found his and everything he could see in them made him freeze. He felt like his heart had stopped for an instant as she looked at him like no one had ever done in his entire life. Killian felt like she could see right through him, past the layers he had put up to protect himself and straight into his soul.

Emma could feel him begin to shake above her and she knew it was too much for him, he couldn't breathe. She knew because she could feel it too. The look she had in her eyes was mirrored in his and a chill went through her whole body, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

A moment passed and she could feel him trying to pull back but she couldn't let him do it. She couldn't have him go anywhere right now, she needed to feel him against her. As much as it seemed crazy, Emma just knew that she wouldn't be able to breathe if he left. She couldn't lose him.

She couldn't ever lose him.

She slipped her right hand behind Killian's neck, keeping him only a few inches away from her as she let her other hand go up to his cheek, her thumb lovingly caressing his skin. He stilled for a second and then she could feel him pressing into her hand, his right hand coming to rest over the one she had on his cheek, his eyes closing.

"I feel it too you know," she confessed nearly silently, fearing that talking too loud would break the perfect moment they were sharing.

"Emma I've…"

"Never felt something that strong," she finished his sentence and he opened his eyes to look at her.

Everything she could see in them both broke her heart and warmed it like a thousand fires. She had been so scared of opening her heart, of letting herself feel something for Killian, but now she was just scared that she'd never be able to have him this close to her again, making her feel like she felt right now.

"Aye," he answered, his voice shaking, and she smiled tentatively knowing the battle that was probably raging in his head.

She knew he didn't think he was worth it, but she also knew that if anyone was worth getting hurt for in the future, it was him. Being a hero was overrated; it wasn't that hard to be a hero when everything around you was pushing you to be one. The hardest thing was being a hero when everything had been pushing you in the other direction for centuries.

Knowing that it was costing him to balance himself on his hook to stay over her, Emma made him turn to lay beside her before pulling him close to her. She felt him bury his face in her neck and she held him so tight she knew he'd probably have a few indents from her fingernails in the morning, but they both didn't care about that right now.

All that mattered was that they were there, cuddled so close together that no one could've said if there was one or two bodies on the small cabin bed. It was just like time had stopped and Emma took a deep breath. Maybe her parents were right, maybe small moments were even more perfect because they were priceless.

Looking back in her eyes, Killian felt his heart beat even faster than it had all night. She was so close to him, her eyes sparkling, and she was smiling at him. All of this was for him. Maybe this could all be true, maybe they could be each other's happy ending.

Wishing he had two good hands to hold her close to him, he wrapped the one he had around her, pulling her body even closer. The heat between them was almost unbearable and his body was reacting the only way it knew how. After all, he had been dreaming about making love to her since their kiss in Neverland.

"Emma," he whispered, his right hand caressing her back slowly.

Nodding, she snuggled into his arms briefly before raising her head to look at him. "I just want you," she finally told him and that was all he needed to hear.

Killian closed the gap between them for the third time that night, but it was yet again different than the ones before. Not pure lust, not pure tenderness, this kiss was a perfect mix of both. They both had been craving this for a long time, and there was only so much they could take. Emma's hands were all over him and it made him feel things he hadn't for longer than he cared to remember.

When her hand slipped under his shirt, he couldn't help but let out a soft moan wanting to feel more of her skin against his. He found the hem of her shirt, reaching under it too. Pleased to see her react the same way he did, he softly traced her upper lip with his tongue, his fingers exploring the skin underneath her shirt.

She pulled back for an instant and the first thing he thought was that she had changed her mind, but she only moved back to take off his shirt and he pulled on hers to make her do the same.

Her eyes were lingering on his skin, three centuries of scars and marks covering it. She wanted to know the story of each and every one of them. She wanted to trace them with her fingers, to memorize the map of his body until she could see it when she closed her eyes, but tonight wasn't the night for that.

Answering his silent request, she took off her shirt and threw it somewhere in the cabin. His breath caught in his throat as his eyes fell over her milky skin and he couldn't help but stare for a moment.

"You are so beautiful, love," Killian breathed, his voice full of everything, and she smiled softly.

He had never seen a woman more beautiful than her and he longed to press kisses all over her body, from her navel to her collar bones. He knew the garment she was wearing was called a bra, but he still didn't know how to take it off and he craved to see all of her, eyes tracking over the lace hungrily.

Understanding what he was thinking from only one look, Emma reached behind her and unhooked the clasp holding her bra in place. The small piece of clothing was quickly discarded and he looked at her, awed. Reaching for her face with his good hand, he looked her in the eyes with a look she knew was way more than just lust.

"Oh how I wish I had two hands to hold you," he whispered and she rested her hand over his.

"I don't care about that, Killian. I will hold on to you for the both of us," she replied, kissing him again.

Rolling them over, she sat above him brushing against his almost painful erection. The sight of her half naked over him almost did him in right there and then. Her blond hair was cascading over her shoulders, resting between her perfect breasts, but it was the look on her face that he loved the most.

Bending closer, she kissed him again, her hand reaching down to his pants and she quickly undid them. He used his right hand to undo the button on her jeans and she pushed her jeans away before tugging his off too.

Just as if these few instants they had spent apart were too long for her, she went back to kissing him as soon as she was done. Their mouths met in a hunger that she had never felt before for anyone in her life, not even Neal, and she kissed him with all she had.

When they both needed to breathe, she took the time to go down to the last piece of clothing he was still wearing. Dropping small kisses all the way down, she finally pulled it off letting his erection spring free before she moved back up to kiss him.

She could feel him hard beneath her and wondered how it would be to have him that close to her, to be one with him. She knew he was thinking about it too, his eyes darker than she had ever seen them before. His hook was close to her last piece of underwear and the idea of ripping them off suddenly went through his mind. No. He couldn't do this.

Emma bent low to whisper in her ear, pressing against him in the most delicious way.

"Just do it," she murmured, her voice husky.

It didn't take more than that for him to give in to what he had been wanting to do. The shreds of her underwear were thrown on the other side of the room and he used his good arm to turn them over, coming to lie on top of her.

He looked into her eyes as he lowered himself to her, needing the friction between them, but wanting this moment to last for eternity.

"Do we need to," He began to ask, not wanting to break the moment but knowing he had to.

"We're good, just… kiss me…" she said, her breath short from all the pent up desire she felt for him.

"Aye," he agreed and kissed her softly.

The kiss quickly became heated and they both couldn't get enough of each other. Finally not able to restrain herself anymore, Emma reached for his length, slowly guiding him to her. Their eyes locked for a moment as he slid inside her slowly, heavenly slowly.

Time seemed to stop again as he pressed into her, connecting them in the most intimate way they could be. He waited a second before he started moving, as much to give her time to adjust as to get a grip on his control. Killian had waited so long for this, he wanted it to last more than just a handful of seconds.

Emma was the one to start moving under him first, her hips coming up, bringing him even deeper. He groaned and bent to kiss her passionately, taking the hint she had given and starting to move, slowly at first but quickly finding a rhythm.

When he had to come up for air again he backed away slightly, his eyes still closed in ecstasy as he made love to her. The moment he opened them again he met hers. They were so full of passion, lust and affection that it almost made him lose it and he picked up the speed, her hips meeting him halfway every time he moved.

She couldn't get enough of him. The way he was looking at her right now brought her so close to the edge but she didn't want it to end right now. His eyes were so blue, darkened by the desire burning inside of him, and it made them even more beautiful. She didn't feel lost anymore when she looked into in those eyes. Instead, she felt connected to him in every way she could be. Sliding her hand behind his neck she brought his face closer to hers, kissing him again.

Emma knew that he was close by the sounds he was making. Those were probably the most beautiful sounds she had ever heard, she thought as he groaned, his pleasure echoing her own as he hit a particularly sensitive spot. His movements were sloppy now and even if he wanted this moment to last forever he knew that he couldn't hold back much longer, not the first time.

Balancing himself on his elbows, he bent down to kiss her neck, sucking deliciously on her skin and making her cry out, so close to losing herself too. It was the way he looked at her when he pulled back that did it for her though. His eyes so full of everything she had ever dreamed of, so full of love, and she felt the wave of her orgasm hit her so hard she saw stars.

"Oh Killian," she half screamed, her nails leaving marks on his back but they didn't even notice it, too lost in each other to care.

The sound of his given name falling from her lips as she gave in to the pleasure that totally engulfed her was all he could take and he followed right behind her. His hips thrashed against hers and he couldn't help but repeat her name again and again as they both fell apart in each other's arms knowing that they were exactly where they wanted to be.

He was shaking when she regained cohesive thought, trying to stay over her without crushing her, and she raised her hand to rest it on the curve of his cheek. Her eyes were reflecting everything that he could feel at that precise moment. He didn't want to move. She didn't want to move. Sadly, they knew they had to.

When he pulled away, she instantly felt the loss of him but he let himself fall on her right, pulling her close the second he could. Emma rested her head in the crook of his neck, enjoying the way their bodies felt cuddled against one another as he traced indistinct patterns across the skin of her back with his good hand.

Neither of them said a word, not wanting to break the moment with words but also not knowing what to say. This had been so different from what they both had experienced before with other people.

Emma did have good sex with Neal and they did connect on a lot of levels, but it had never been this passionate, this heated. She had always felt like something was missing but she didn't know what since she had never known anything else. The moment she had just shared with Killian had been so perfect. She had been wanting to forget, but instead he made her feel everything, gave her hope that life could be more than just this, that she could get some good moments.

On his side, Killian had lots of passionate sex, hot, rough, really good sex, for Milah had always been an intense woman. The thing was, as hot as the sex had been, he had never fully connected with her in the way he did with Emma. With Emma, he just felt like every fiber of his being responded to hers and it made for the most amazing sex he'd ever had.

They both knew it was more than sex though, much more than that. Everything had been so perfect, so fully and utterly perfect. It would never be only sex between them. Killian had wanted to make love to her for a long time now and he had done exactly that tonight. They both knew this, deep down, and accepted it.

Time stood still as they held on to each other. Emma was tracing the contour of his jawline with her fingers, a smile lingering on her lips as she did. She had always thought that the proximity would scare her, but it definitely wasn't right now. She felt so content, so at peace right now. She wouldn't have given this up for anything in the whole world.

Raising up her head to kiss him, Emma met his eyes, and mixed with everything she had seen before, she could also see the fear of rejection tainting this perfect moment. She knew that look so well, she had been the one wearing it forever, and it broke her heart to see it reflected in Killian's eyes. Emma knew he had been trying so hard since he came back with the magic bean, he had been doing everything he could to be someone she could rely on.

Killian Jones was so much more complex than just a pirate; he was a man before all. He was kind, and thoughtful, funny in his own way, charming with the perfect hint of danger that just made him sexier. Not that he needed that, he really was devilishly handsome after all. As she looked at him, Emma told herself that she would make it her personal mission to make him see everything she did when she looked at him.

She wished he did, because what she saw in him was beautiful and she knew that he had been the one she had been waiting for without even knowing it.

"I'm not going anywhere, Killian," she whispered to him, laying a soft kiss on his nose and making him smile slightly.

"What about your old flame?" he asked, his eyes averting from hers, but she made him look right back at her.

"Neal is, and will always be, a part of my life because he's Henry's father. But the thing is, Neal is my past," Emma explained to him. She would never be able to erase Neal from her heart either; first loves had a way of staying engraved on someone's heart.

"Who's your future then, love?" Killian asked in a voice that he wanted to sound casual but Emma knew it wasn't.

"I don't know," she began, seeing the flash of fear that went through his eyes before she continued. "I'm the savior, I don't really get to plan my future. I only get moments… But what I know, is that you're my present. And right now, that's all that matters."

Resting his hand on her cheek, Killian smiled at her. His smile was full of promise and hope, and Emma thought that her parents had definitely been right. Life was made of moments and the only thing she could do was try to appreciate them as they went by.

She laid a tender kiss on Killian's lips before she cuddled back into his arms, wanting to lose herself in him. Her head rested on his chest, just above his heart and she let the steady sound of his heartbeat lull her to sleep.

As Killian laid there, the woman he had loved for so long falling asleep in his arms, he thought that starting now his only mission in life would be to make her happy. Emma Swan deserved to be happy more than anyone else in the world, and he would do anything to allow her to have her happy ending, even if for now it only meant small moments of pure bliss stolen from time.

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 _ **I really hope you've enjoyed it, please leave a review if you did! :) Reviews will help me wait until next week's episode, I'm sure you all know how incredibly hard it will be!**_


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